Thank You Obama!!
We just got attacked by our foreign enemy Al-Qaeda and what did we do?
We treated the Islamic Terrorist like he stole a pack of cigarettes from Wal-Mart.
We gave him his Miranda Rights and he asked for a lawyer.
ATTENTION DUMB ASS DEMOCRATS -- WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR WITH A FOREIGN ENEMY THAT WANTS EVERY AMERICAN DEAD
ISLAMIC TERRORISTS – WORDS OUR MUSLIM PRESIDENT CAN NOT UTTER
Now, instead of being able to find out who the other Islamic Terrorists are that trained with this killer, we get to wait to get attacked again.
Guess what else – Janet Napolitano our Homeland Security chief that OBLAHBLAHBLABH picked says the system worked!!!
The system worked? Because they sent someone to stupid to ignite the bomb correctly it worked??
This guy took enough explosives on the plane to kill 260+ people in the air, and who knows how many of us in the Detroit area would of died when pieces of the plane came down on our homes???
The system worked?? The TERRORISTS own father went into the US Embassy to report they lost contact with him and they fear he is about to attack the USA.
The system worked?
They forgot to add him to the TERROR WATCH LIST so he could not board a plane to the USA.
The system worked??
Obama’s Administration gave this Terrorist a Visa to come to the USA that Great Britain and other countries denied!!
Don’t ya feel great that the Democrats are keeping us safe now?
Wonder how much this trial is going to cost the USA? How come the hypocrites in the Democrat Party are not bitching about this money?????
I need to add that they woke our Moron President up from his sleep to tell him that the Liberals in Europe gave him the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing, but we get attacked by Al-Qaeda and they wait 3 hours too tell the Pretend President…
What a group of clowns we have in power…
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Moron Democrats
Moron Democrats
Obama, the BIGGEST liar we have ever had as President, does not have an “open and honest” administration.
This farce of a health care bill was not online for 1 week as he lied to us it would be.
Obama lied when he said you could watch on C-Span as the bills are created.
Obama lied because of all the back room deals to BUY VOTES from senators, the same way they buy votes from dumb ass Democrats.
Who you going to vote for Santa Claus or Scrooge?
Dumb ass Americans with their hands out for EVERYTHING keep voting for Santa, and are too stupid to understand that THEIR taxes are what are going to be taken to pay for all the goodies!
Finally all the hoopla over this bill being passed today is BULL SHIT!. This bill will NEVER go to conference because then they have to have PUBLIC MEETINGS.
Weak knee LIBERALS AND DEMOCRATS are too scared to face the public right now. THERE WILL BE NO PUBLIC MEETINGS ON THIS FARCE OF A BILL.
Obama and his ilk, Harry Ried and Nance Pelosi are going to have MORE back room meetings and write a BRAND NEW BILL you will not get too see online for 7 days…
You watch….
It is totally amazing to me the FOOLS that voted for OBAMA… fools!!
You SHOULD HAVE seen this crap coming but you were too stupid and too ignorant and now YOU are responsible for this nation suffering the way we are…
YOU are responsible for the SOCIALIST’S who are destroying our country.
They destroyed our banking system and our mortgage system via LEGISLATION forcing NON-CREDIT WORTHY people to get home loans. FORCING…
The same way they are now trying to FORCE you to buy HEALTH INSURANCE…
FORCE!! THIS IS NOT AMERICA ANYMORE DUMBASSES!!
We are being run by a TYRANNICAL GOVERNMENT YOU ELECTED…
Fools…
Obama, the BIGGEST liar we have ever had as President, does not have an “open and honest” administration.
This farce of a health care bill was not online for 1 week as he lied to us it would be.
Obama lied when he said you could watch on C-Span as the bills are created.
Obama lied because of all the back room deals to BUY VOTES from senators, the same way they buy votes from dumb ass Democrats.
Who you going to vote for Santa Claus or Scrooge?
Dumb ass Americans with their hands out for EVERYTHING keep voting for Santa, and are too stupid to understand that THEIR taxes are what are going to be taken to pay for all the goodies!
Finally all the hoopla over this bill being passed today is BULL SHIT!. This bill will NEVER go to conference because then they have to have PUBLIC MEETINGS.
Weak knee LIBERALS AND DEMOCRATS are too scared to face the public right now. THERE WILL BE NO PUBLIC MEETINGS ON THIS FARCE OF A BILL.
Obama and his ilk, Harry Ried and Nance Pelosi are going to have MORE back room meetings and write a BRAND NEW BILL you will not get too see online for 7 days…
You watch….
It is totally amazing to me the FOOLS that voted for OBAMA… fools!!
You SHOULD HAVE seen this crap coming but you were too stupid and too ignorant and now YOU are responsible for this nation suffering the way we are…
YOU are responsible for the SOCIALIST’S who are destroying our country.
They destroyed our banking system and our mortgage system via LEGISLATION forcing NON-CREDIT WORTHY people to get home loans. FORCING…
The same way they are now trying to FORCE you to buy HEALTH INSURANCE…
FORCE!! THIS IS NOT AMERICA ANYMORE DUMBASSES!!
We are being run by a TYRANNICAL GOVERNMENT YOU ELECTED…
Fools…
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Dogs
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they strike up a conversation
The black Lab turns to the chocolate Lab and says, 'So why are you here?'
The brown Lab replies, 'I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed.'
The black Lab says , 'So what is the vet going to do?'
'Gonna cut my nuts off,' comes the reply from the chocolate Lab. 'They reckon it'll calm me down.'
The black Lab then turns to the yellow lab and asks, Why are you here?'
The yellow Lab says , 'I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the
hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch.'
'So what are they going to do to you?' the black Lab inquires .
'Looks like I'm losing my nuts too', the dejected yellow Lab says.
The yellow Lab then turns to the black Lab and asks, 'Why are you here?'
'I'm a humper,' the black Lab says .. 'I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.
Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just
couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away'
The yellow and chocolate Labs exchange a sad glance and say , 'So, nuts off for you too, huh?'
The black Lab says ....'No, I'm here to get my nails clipped
The black Lab turns to the chocolate Lab and says, 'So why are you here?'
The brown Lab replies, 'I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed.'
The black Lab says , 'So what is the vet going to do?'
'Gonna cut my nuts off,' comes the reply from the chocolate Lab. 'They reckon it'll calm me down.'
The black Lab then turns to the yellow lab and asks, Why are you here?'
The yellow Lab says , 'I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the
hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch.'
'So what are they going to do to you?' the black Lab inquires .
'Looks like I'm losing my nuts too', the dejected yellow Lab says.
The yellow Lab then turns to the black Lab and asks, 'Why are you here?'
'I'm a humper,' the black Lab says .. 'I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.
Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just
couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away'
The yellow and chocolate Labs exchange a sad glance and say , 'So, nuts off for you too, huh?'
The black Lab says ....'No, I'm here to get my nails clipped
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods he came flying, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Because a bimbo’s phone number she found on his Blackberry.
He’d been cheating on poor little Elin,
And as each day went by another whore came out squealing.
He’d been on Holly, on Jaimee, on Rachel, on Cori,
On Joselyn and Kalika, TMZ had the story.
From the top of the world to above the fold,
Tiger’s ever more sorted tale, it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
And when he wasn't hosing them, he sent them hot texts.
He crashed his Caddy, but didn't call OnStar,
Yet he played “spank me daddy” with a swanky old porn star.
He’s been naughty, so with Santa he hasn't a chance,
Except the big lump of coal that matches the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying and begging and pleading,
Tiger’s wife went right out, bought a new home in Sweden ..
And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade,
If you're going to get laid, then I’m going to get paid.
Now she’s not pouting, in fact she’s of good cheer,
Because her prenup made Christmas come early this year.
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods he came flying, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Because a bimbo’s phone number she found on his Blackberry.
He’d been cheating on poor little Elin,
And as each day went by another whore came out squealing.
He’d been on Holly, on Jaimee, on Rachel, on Cori,
On Joselyn and Kalika, TMZ had the story.
From the top of the world to above the fold,
Tiger’s ever more sorted tale, it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
And when he wasn't hosing them, he sent them hot texts.
He crashed his Caddy, but didn't call OnStar,
Yet he played “spank me daddy” with a swanky old porn star.
He’s been naughty, so with Santa he hasn't a chance,
Except the big lump of coal that matches the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying and begging and pleading,
Tiger’s wife went right out, bought a new home in Sweden ..
And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade,
If you're going to get laid, then I’m going to get paid.
Now she’s not pouting, in fact she’s of good cheer,
Because her prenup made Christmas come early this year.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi
The Pope The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage infront of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me."
So the Pope slapped her.
The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me."
So the Pope slapped her.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Why Did Jesus Fold the Napkin?
Why Did Jesus Fold the Napkin?
This is one I can honestly say I have never seen circulating in the e-mails so; I'll start it, if it touches you and you want to forward it.
Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection? I never noticed this....
The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.
The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed at the head of that stony coffin.
Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.
She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!'
Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple out ran Peter and got there first. He stopped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in.
Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side.
Was that important? Absolutely!
Is it really significant? Yes!
In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day.
The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every
Jewish boy knew this tradition.
When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.
The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished..
Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table.
The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, "I'm finished.."
But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because..........
The folded napkin meant,
"I'm coming back!"
This is one I can honestly say I have never seen circulating in the e-mails so; I'll start it, if it touches you and you want to forward it.
Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection? I never noticed this....
The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.
The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed at the head of that stony coffin.
Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.
She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!'
Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple out ran Peter and got there first. He stopped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in.
Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side.
Was that important? Absolutely!
Is it really significant? Yes!
In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day.
The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every
Jewish boy knew this tradition.
When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.
The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished..
Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table.
The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, "I'm finished.."
But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because..........
The folded napkin meant,
"I'm coming back!"
Monday, December 7, 2009
Hey Liberals - try to understand this...
Hey Liberals - try to understand this... Dopehagen's Global Warming Conference has 140 private jets and 2000 limos being used.... Don't ya love the way they practice what they preach??? You dopes...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
O
A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.
"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.
"Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.
"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other." "This I gotta see," replied the agent. With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.
"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Chicago ." "Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago ?"
The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."
"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.
"Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.
"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other." "This I gotta see," replied the agent. With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.
"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Chicago ." "Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago ?"
The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
America – Do you KNOW see why Democrats are wrong for America?
America – Do you KNOW see why Democrats are wrong for America?
Our President, Barack Hussein Oblahblahblah is playing politics with American lives. When President George Bush was the Commander in Chief you KNEW he was protecting America and did not care what people thought, he was going to win this war for America.
Oblahblahblah is sending some troops, not all the general asked for, because Oblahblahblah is trying to satisfy kooky Liberals and clear thinking Americans at the same time.
He sets a pull out date in the same paragraph he discusses sending more troops! Bet that made the soldiers feel real comfortable. So the mission is now NOT TO WIN the war, but Odufus’s mission is now to get them home before the next election. Have you ever heard the Clown President discuss VICTORY???
Politics…
You elected a Clown for President expect him to do Clown Things…
He is destroying our economy, ruining our industries, about to tax the American People to Death, and all the time pull his muscles patting himself on the back…While he tours the World, promotes the hoax of Global Warming, and apologizes to the World for America being such an evil country.
He bows to foreign leaders and makes this ONCE great Nation look like the laughing stock of the world.
In the meantime, Iran is about to get nuclear weapons, we are disarming Europe and Al-Qaida is laughing at us for being so weak…
Democrat Leaders are always weak, both mentally and in protecting our Nation. What did you expect??? A liberal is a liberal….
Thank God the elections of 2010 are just months away and already Democrats are announcing the fact they will not seek re-election. Funny, the Tea Parties told them the same thing…
Our President, Barack Hussein Oblahblahblah is playing politics with American lives. When President George Bush was the Commander in Chief you KNEW he was protecting America and did not care what people thought, he was going to win this war for America.
Oblahblahblah is sending some troops, not all the general asked for, because Oblahblahblah is trying to satisfy kooky Liberals and clear thinking Americans at the same time.
He sets a pull out date in the same paragraph he discusses sending more troops! Bet that made the soldiers feel real comfortable. So the mission is now NOT TO WIN the war, but Odufus’s mission is now to get them home before the next election. Have you ever heard the Clown President discuss VICTORY???
Politics…
You elected a Clown for President expect him to do Clown Things…
He is destroying our economy, ruining our industries, about to tax the American People to Death, and all the time pull his muscles patting himself on the back…While he tours the World, promotes the hoax of Global Warming, and apologizes to the World for America being such an evil country.
He bows to foreign leaders and makes this ONCE great Nation look like the laughing stock of the world.
In the meantime, Iran is about to get nuclear weapons, we are disarming Europe and Al-Qaida is laughing at us for being so weak…
Democrat Leaders are always weak, both mentally and in protecting our Nation. What did you expect??? A liberal is a liberal….
Thank God the elections of 2010 are just months away and already Democrats are announcing the fact they will not seek re-election. Funny, the Tea Parties told them the same thing…
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Political Correctness Going Mad!!
Political Correctness Going Mad!!
What did we learn from the Ft Hood Terrorist? That political correctness in this country just cost American lives!! People were too scared to speak up about this Muslim nut bag because of fear of repercussions for being anti-Muslim
Now we have captured the man responsible for killing the 4 Blackwater Security agents that had their bodies burned, dragged through the streets and then hung for ridicule. The Navy Seals that caught this dirt bag gave him a bloody lip and now THEY are up for Court Martial????
How in the f*ck is the Pansy Ass running our Military????
No wonder we can’t seem to win a war… we got Liberals running our Military!!
Stop the INSANITY!!
Political Correctness is killing this country… Liberalism is destroying the once GREAT America!!!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,576646,00.html
What did we learn from the Ft Hood Terrorist? That political correctness in this country just cost American lives!! People were too scared to speak up about this Muslim nut bag because of fear of repercussions for being anti-Muslim
Now we have captured the man responsible for killing the 4 Blackwater Security agents that had their bodies burned, dragged through the streets and then hung for ridicule. The Navy Seals that caught this dirt bag gave him a bloody lip and now THEY are up for Court Martial????
How in the f*ck is the Pansy Ass running our Military????
No wonder we can’t seem to win a war… we got Liberals running our Military!!
Stop the INSANITY!!
Political Correctness is killing this country… Liberalism is destroying the once GREAT America!!!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,576646,00.html
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Green Weenies!!
Hey Green Weenies!!
Do a Google Search on this “emails faking global warming”
Most of you have not heard this story because you are not smart enough to understand NEWS BIAS.
CBS, ABCBS, NBCBS and thier ilk like NPR and MSPMS won’t discuss stories that do not fit the LIBERAL AGENDA…
Are you telling me the AlGores of the World have been LYING about Global Warming??
BTW, if you had an credibility you would do a bit of research on the MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AlGore has made on this Global Warming Hoax and the foolish “Carbon Credits”
How is that Prias running??
You should get these sites:
http://www.theweek.com/article/index/103222/Globalwarming_bombshell
http://www.transformetrics.com/forum/showthread.php?p=32200
http://www.giveittomeraw.com/xn/detail/1407416:Topic:1182378?xg_source..
http://www.politics.ie/.../118889-climategate-final-nail-coffin-anthropogenic-global-warming-15.html
greenenergyreporter.com/.../skeptic-rejoice-at-climate-research-unit-emails-global-warming-continues-apace/
http://www.aim.org/aim-column/media-ignore-climate-science-scandal/
answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091123100109AAbIEhN
Do a Google Search on this “emails faking global warming”
Most of you have not heard this story because you are not smart enough to understand NEWS BIAS.
CBS, ABCBS, NBCBS and thier ilk like NPR and MSPMS won’t discuss stories that do not fit the LIBERAL AGENDA…
Are you telling me the AlGores of the World have been LYING about Global Warming??
BTW, if you had an credibility you would do a bit of research on the MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AlGore has made on this Global Warming Hoax and the foolish “Carbon Credits”
How is that Prias running??
You should get these sites:
http://www.theweek.com/article/index/103222/Globalwarming_bombshell
http://www.transformetrics.com/forum/showthread.php?p=32200
http://www.giveittomeraw.com/xn/detail/1407416:Topic:1182378?xg_source..
http://www.politics.ie/.../118889-climategate-final-nail-coffin-anthropogenic-global-warming-15.html
greenenergyreporter.com/.../skeptic-rejoice-at-climate-research-unit-emails-global-warming-continues-apace/
http://www.aim.org/aim-column/media-ignore-climate-science-scandal/
answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091123100109AAbIEhN
Next to sex, this is a good way to start the day..
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the dignified and formal bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
***********************************************************
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any wordfrom the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the dignified and formal bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
***********************************************************
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any wordfrom the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
XEROX IS DOING SOMETHING COOL
XEROX IS DOING SOMETHING COOL
If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services.
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! It is FREE and it only takes a second.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our soldiers over there need to know we are behind them.
This takes just 10 seconds and it's a wonderful way to say thank you. Please take the time and please take the time to pass it on for others to do. We can never say enough thank you's.
Thanks for taking to time to support our military!
If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services.
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! It is FREE and it only takes a second.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our soldiers over there need to know we are behind them.
This takes just 10 seconds and it's a wonderful way to say thank you. Please take the time and please take the time to pass it on for others to do. We can never say enough thank you's.
Thanks for taking to time to support our military!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Why do we love children?
Why do we love children?
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents '
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents '
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day!
Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day!
Gotta love this Judge!
You must read this.....a proper decision by the courts...for a change.
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days... The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..".
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do.
Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."; You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
This is too good not to forward
Gotta love this Judge!
You must read this.....a proper decision by the courts...for a change.
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days... The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..".
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do.
Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."; You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
This is too good not to forward
Monday, November 9, 2009
Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan The Terrorist
Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan The Terrorist
Liberal Democrats and their demonic views of political correctness let this man walk our streets. This man has made entire speeches on destroying American and the non-believers. This man wanted “infidels” to have “boiling oil poured down their throats”
Yet because of political correctness people were scared to report this man’s rants. Yet some proud Americans did report these instances and the Army ignored them!?!?!?!?!?
THE UNITED STATES ARMY was well aware this man was preaching Muslim Hatred and yet NOTHING was done???????
Political correctness gone wild!!
If this same man was preaching about Jesus Christ and being born again they would have imprisoned him!
Wake up people – you are losing your country to Liberals…..
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/6521758/Fort-Hood-shooting-Texas-army-killer-linked-to-September-11-terrorists.html
http://rashmanly.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/terrorist-major-nidal-malik-hasan-treated-with-kid-gloves-by-mainstream-media/
http://doctorbulldog.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/nidal-malik-hasan-non-believers-should-be-beheaded-and-have-boiling-oil-poured-down-their-throats/
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2009/09/robert-spencers-new-book-is-guaranteed-to-annoy-some-people-even-before-they-read-it-which-they-prob.html
Liberal Democrats and their demonic views of political correctness let this man walk our streets. This man has made entire speeches on destroying American and the non-believers. This man wanted “infidels” to have “boiling oil poured down their throats”
Yet because of political correctness people were scared to report this man’s rants. Yet some proud Americans did report these instances and the Army ignored them!?!?!?!?!?
THE UNITED STATES ARMY was well aware this man was preaching Muslim Hatred and yet NOTHING was done???????
Political correctness gone wild!!
If this same man was preaching about Jesus Christ and being born again they would have imprisoned him!
Wake up people – you are losing your country to Liberals…..
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/6521758/Fort-Hood-shooting-Texas-army-killer-linked-to-September-11-terrorists.html
http://rashmanly.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/terrorist-major-nidal-malik-hasan-treated-with-kid-gloves-by-mainstream-media/
http://doctorbulldog.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/nidal-malik-hasan-non-believers-should-be-beheaded-and-have-boiling-oil-poured-down-their-throats/
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2009/09/robert-spencers-new-book-is-guaranteed-to-annoy-some-people-even-before-they-read-it-which-they-prob.html
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Great Quote
"As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, but that America gave him the White House based on the same credentials." - - Newt Gingrich
Check out the % of workers compared to those collecting welfare
From the L. A. Times
1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2 million people)are working for cash and not paying taxes This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
8 Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in L. A. are Spanish speaking.
10.. In L. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish.
(There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County . )
(All 10 of the above facts were published in the Los Angeles Times)
Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States ‘ annual population growth(and over 90% of California , Florida , and New York ) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens .
We are fools for letting this continue
The Democratic Party supports and desires MORE illegals so they can stay in power in government…
Now you see why I call people idiots who vote Democrat??
That and their desire to abort every black child is amazing to me… Blacks keep pressing the D lever…
Like watching Dumb and Dumber every single election day…
Saturday, October 24, 2009
He said - She said
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . ... I would but you're never there.
He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said . . They don't have time
He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said . . . They already have boyfriends.
He said . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . ... I would but you're never there.
He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said . . They don't have time
He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said . . . They already have boyfriends.
He said . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Butch Obama
John was in the fertilized egg business.He had several hundred
young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’and ten roosters to
fertilize the eggs.He kept records, and any rooster not performing
went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and
attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone,
so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch And fill out an efficiency report
by just listening to the bells.
John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but
this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When
he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy
chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the
roosters coming, could run for cover. To John’s amazement, old
Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up
on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew
County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell
Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly
coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on
the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible.
young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’and ten roosters to
fertilize the eggs.He kept records, and any rooster not performing
went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and
attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone,
so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch And fill out an efficiency report
by just listening to the bells.
John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but
this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When
he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy
chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the
roosters coming, could run for cover. To John’s amazement, old
Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up
on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew
County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell
Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly
coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on
the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Nobel Peace Prize ? Barak Obama?????
Nobel Peace Prize ? Barak Obama?????
The deadline for nominations was Feb 1st. Oblahblahblah was President for 11 days…
If it was not already a joke as an award, this should be the icing on the cake!!!
Why did they give it to Oblahblahblah??? Because Obama has turned to the United Nations as a governing body????
Are you F’ing kidding me?!?!?!?!?!
The same UN that has China and Iran on its Human Rights Commission!
Of course if you are a NON THINKING LIBERAL/DEMOCRAT it makes perfect sense to you….
Would you wake up!!!!!! You can not be this stupid! Never mind, you can… You voted for him…
The deadline for nominations was Feb 1st. Oblahblahblah was President for 11 days…
If it was not already a joke as an award, this should be the icing on the cake!!!
Why did they give it to Oblahblahblah??? Because Obama has turned to the United Nations as a governing body????
Are you F’ing kidding me?!?!?!?!?!
The same UN that has China and Iran on its Human Rights Commission!
Of course if you are a NON THINKING LIBERAL/DEMOCRAT it makes perfect sense to you….
Would you wake up!!!!!! You can not be this stupid! Never mind, you can… You voted for him…
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Citizen or Occupant? American by birth or Spirit? Liberals go bonkers when I tell them they are not Patriots, “non-Americans”
Liberals go bonkers when I tell them they are not Patriots, “non-Americans”. I think many of our ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS are more American in Spirit then people born here and defiled by our “lack of education system”.
Our country’s Founding Fathers laid down a guide of how to keep this country running FREE and to keep it FREE. If you live here and you do not like the frame work of the ORIGINAL AMERICANS, then you ARE a non-American. You are fighting this frame work and trying to take it down to make it something you like.
Well, guess what? You are in America, there are still FREE SPIRITED AMERICANS that desire very lil government, very little taxation, and think people should and can prosper on the sweat of their brow, and NO MAN should be a ward of the State.
So you non- American’s LEARN the history of this country. Drink from the cup of FREEDOM that our Founding Fathers drank from, and start seeking to be a free-man and not a slave to a socialist regime.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Perfect Come Back Line of the Year
If you have ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...
Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with the same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
He was being cross examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...
Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with the same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Near Perfect
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of Cleveland, Ohio …
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.”
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a “gift.”
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.”
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a “gift.”
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